Subject: RE: Sandwich
That’s better. Don’t forget again!
Your assistant? Must be nice.
When do I get an assistant?
I think if you’re the only competent one then worldfarer is in a world of hurt!
Subject: RE: Sandwich
Oh, opps – ILY.
Also: Yes, of course. East Africa was only part of the celebration, sweetie.
Gonna send EBeth on her first ever solo press check. The price for this honor is picking up my sandwich on the way back.
I’ll probably have to buy her one, too.
Also Also: Why does it always seem like I’m the only competent one around?
Subject: RE: Sandwich
Harbor deli? Isn’t that far?
Big day for me, too! Start of an even bigger, big BIRTHDAY weekend!
(you owe me)
Big day – the East Africa Catalog finally goes on the press.
Finally. Finally. Finally.
Gonna celebrate with a sandwich…
…from Harbor Deli!!
Subject: Diplomacy: Your Latest Offer
After wiping away our tears of laughter, we sought to evaluate your offer only to be once again overtaken by uncontrollable snarfing. When the Minister of State announced that we would not be permitted leave the meeting room until we had developed a position on your position, we redoubled our efforts and wrested a semblance of control over our mirth. We began deliberations under the watchful eye of the Palace Guard. To the extent possible, we were successful in the effort. Trust me, however, when I tell you it remained a close matter throughout.
We feel you may have missed your calling, for certainly your talents are wasted in your chosen field. Your facility with the … funny bone … may be hindering your efforts in the diplomatic arts, accounting for the relative weakness of your position in Southeastern Europe, militarily and diplomatically, which in turn negatively impacts our willingness to take your offers (and especially your threats) seriously.
[As Farce]: During my run this morning, I saw an eagle pluck a fish right out of the lake.
[As Farce]: Sorry, fisheye.
[Louise Brooks]: A bird’s gotta eat.
[Walker]: A trout?
[fisheye]: ohhh! the claws! the beak
[Andy AC]: A Trout? Perch? Smallmouth Bass?
[As Farce]: *shrug* A fish.
[Walker]: Lake Shasta isn’t it?
[As Farce]: Aye.
[Andy AC]: See?
[jawalma]: raw fish? No thanks. I’m saving room for a sammich.
[Andy AC]: A Perch Sammich?
[As Farce]: Trout, I guess. I think I know that guy in the picture with the German Brown.
[jawalma]: Meat Ssammich. A Special. Works. Maybe Old Style. From Harbor Deli.
[Louise Brooks]: TWO celebration sandwiches in a SINGLE week? Did your boss leave town again?
[As Farce]: He looks like he might be related to the woman who runs the Jones Valley Store.
[jawalma]: The boss is out for another week – but so is the Safari catalog!
[Louise Brooks]: I remember what I wanted to ask you, jawalma. How’d the Flock of Boxes turn out?
[jawalma]: Hmm. they didn’t. Turned out to be a lot more complicated than I expected.
[Louise Brooks]: Too bad. Sounded cool. I bet your girl would have loved it.
[jawalma]: Shit, phone.
[fisheye]: i wish i had a girl
[fisheye]: she’d choose a meat sammich and never a fish one
[As Farce]: By the way, if you ever come up, avoind the Jones Valley Store.
[As Farce]: er, avoid.
[Andy AC]: Your mom’s a German Brown.
Subject: re: re: Today
Right, right. Go ahead and call them up today and cut down to two candidates. I don’t need to talk to all five. Make sure you pick the right two.
Copy me on the Cost Rica text.
To: email@example.com Subject: re: Today
1) 11:00 am. Me or Elizabeth will do it.
2) Several candidates lined up already, remember? When you’re back in the office, we’ll get them on the phone.
3) Back with the author to review edits. Due here early next week (Tues.) Look for PDFs of the design soon.
4) I’ll keep her on it.
5) Working it today. Close. I plan to email it over later.
6) Yep.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
It’s Wednesday already and we don’t seem to be getting anywhere on this week’s priorities.
1) East Africa Press Check?
2) Bored Kids: Los Angeles. Update me on your author candidate search. We’re putting this one up for the Fall, so we’ll need to have the author hired and the distributor package readied by mid-Feb. Need to move!
3) Bored Kids: New York. Where’s the mss? Where’re the photographs? We’ve got less than two weeks and I haven’t seen page proofs or anything.
4) Bored Kids: Chicago. Whatever else happens today, make sure Lizzy gets all the Review copies out. I sent her a list of 20+ more outlets to go with the 30 she already has. Priority!
5) Costa Rica Catalog: Are you almost done with the copy? You’re already late getting client approvals. Keep it moving!
6) Keep me updated on everything else.
Subject: re: re: Press Check
New York: humor me.
We need the mss this week. Tomorrow’s Thursday already. Get it in the office by Friday.
Tipsheet looks good. Thanks for taking another whack at it. Strike that from last week’s list.
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2006 9:00 AM
Subject: re: Press Check
New York: I think we’ll have plenty of time to make the printer deadline without rushing the author (again). I made a number of substantial changes to the mss and I think we ought to let Stephen have a chance to digest them all. One or two days is not going to help us much, anyway.
We’ll get all the review copies out. Attached is the updated Tipsheet, by the way.From: email@example.com
Subject: Press Check
Coupla more things.
Press Check: Send Lizzy. Need you in the office in case Cross-Country/a new client/anybody else important calls. She’s not quite up to speed.
New York: Get the mss back a day early and bring Jen in Monday to proof. Need to get moving on that.
Chicago: Help Lizzy pack those review copies up this afternoon. Priority.
Subject: re: Press Check Directions
Just order me what you’re having.
Subject: Press Check Directions
Superior’s all the way down in Cost Mesa – Take the 405 to Beach and go north (left) to MacArthur, then right, then right again at the next light. Can’t miss it.
Harbor Deli’s in Long Beach, in the harbor. On your way back up the 405, exit Santa Fe and go south (left) for a mile or so. It’ll be on the right. If you cross Anaheim, you’ve gone too far.
Call me when you leave Superior and I’ll order ahead. See www.lbharbordeli.com for a menu and tell me what you want.
Subject: re: Piling Up
That’s why you get the big bucks.
Wanna just meet at the game? We can just skip dinner and eat at the game. Instead of driving all the way back home and then heading back that way?
Subject: Piling Up
When Dick-I-mean-Rich left I thought I’d get a break. So naturally the opposite has happened. And with Elizabeth out to get my Celebration Sandwich, I’m stuck screening my own phone calls.
Speaking of. Gotta go call author candidates.
At least there’s a sandwich to look forward to!
He looks fairly convinced. I am concerned that he may have something going with either the Italian or the Turk (or worse, both), but those are the chances we have to take.
So here’s where we are, based on our conversations with the others:
Russia expects me to help him into Galacia. He’s convinced YOU believe I’m helping you defend, instead.
France and Italy are doing whatever it is they are doing in Spain. It seems clear Turkey and Italy have decided to lay off each other in the Med. I know you’ve worked together in the past, but I’d be wary of Italy if I were you. England assures me he’s going West from BEL rather than East. To that end I’m supporting him into Burgundy (which ought to ruin any chance we have of working with the French ever again).
At this point, if we can count on the Russain’s greed (and I think we can), he’ll be stymied in GAL, and I’ll get a jump on PRU.
But that’s playing it conservatively. We can get so much more.
If you can convince the Turk you intend to do UKR now and will support him to SEV next turn if he helps by staging a spoiling attack (RUM-SEV) (to break support), or by moving ANK-ARM to threaten next turn, you can instead hit RUM with all you’ve got. In the end? You gain RUM and cripple the Turk for good, Russia is held in check, with England and me pressing down from the North, and Italy and France are weakened by their steady bickering.
This is it. We can do this. We can set the stage for an endgame between you and I and England, and with that grouping, you and I can go for a two power draw. All we have to do is get the Turk to play along, and I think England can intervene on our behalf, too, to make it convincing.
Think it over. I’ll forward move sets shortly (since, ahh, I’m needed in the Cabinet Meeting Room right now).
With Warmth for our Southern Brothers in …Tongue,
Subject: Diplomacy: Convinced?
See the attached diplomatic message. Apparently you’ve convinced Russia I’m a threat (and that I’m weaker than I really am. Good job?). Anyhow, so far so good.
With GAL held and you and England chipping away in the north, I should be in good shape to hold last turn’s gains.
Now if I could just get Turkey to turn on Italy…
Subject: Review Copies?
I just checked UPS.com. You haven’t printed any shipping labels. It’s getting late. What’s going on?
(As you can see, the phone is not working, but luckily the laptop is.)
[fisheye]: how come?
[Louise Brooks]: Because you want to make a good impression, fish.
[As Farce]: Just wear the suit.
[fisheye]: but it’s black.
[Andy AC]: Bosses are jerkfaces.
[Andy AC]: As Farce is right. If you get the job, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to screw-up later.
[fisheye]: even if it’s black?
[As Farce]: Aren’t you a boss, too, jawalma?
[jawalma]: Sorta. There’s a minion nearby.
[fisheye]: do you need another one?
[Louise Brooks]: That’s the definition of boss.
[Andy AC]: minion minder
[jawalma]: I’ve only got the one and I have to share her.
[fisheye]: where do you work?
[Andy AC]: The Peter Principle, jawalma? Jerkface behavior is cover for feelings of inadequacy.
[fisheye]: oh. i can’t be your minion. LA’s too far away
[Walker]: Some of us rise to our level of incompetence sooner than others, fisheye.
[Andy AC]: At least she’s easy on the eyes. Allegedly.
[Walker]: You may have gotten there soonest of all!
[jawalma]: Ahem. I’m trying not to notice anymore. Lost her lustre now that she’s gotten me a Combo instead of a Special. Which I haven’t tasted yet because I can’t type, talk on the phone, read, and eat a sammich all at the same time.
[As Farce]: Spoken like a true boss.
[jawalma]: I phoned it in. But she changed the order when she got there. Because she was sure I’d said I wanted a Combo.
[jawalma]: I’ve been a parttime minion keeper for only a few months, but my advice to prospective minion keepers is this: Mind your minions carefully, for without you to guide them, they will soon get you fired.
[jawalma]: Sandwich smells good, however. She may have made the right decision. Maybe I’ll get a chance to eat it later.
Well don’t be too late. Meet me at the seats and I’ll get nachos and beer.
Don’t worry, the big events aren’t until Saturday.
Just got off the phone with the New York author, you know, the whiner?
Man, was he ever pissed. Next time I’ll make Dick-I-mean-Rich make the call.
So. I’m going to be a little late. I know it’s the start of Birthday Weekend, but I gotta get some of this cleared out of the way. I’m sorry. I’ll get there as soon as I can.
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com
To: firstname.lastname@example.org CC: email@example.com Subject: Revised Proof Deadline
First of all, I apologize for losing my temper during our phone call. I understand that you have deadlines and priorities and I believe you when you say you want to produce the best book possible, given the circumstances. We both do.
During my tantrum I don’t think I clearly explained the source of my frustration. The circumstances you cited are entirely of your own doing. Not mine. The deadlines you presented from the start were excessively tight, as was the money you offered. Nevertheless, against my better judgment, I took the book. I should have known nothing else would go smoothly. From your broken promises to help me locate appropriate imagery to your chronically late payments, your mistakes, your oversights, and the compromises that your decision-making forced upon both of us have led us to where we are now: you pushing me to rush through the proofs.
Even with the weekend there was not enough time to do this right. Now you’re taking that away. And I’m forced to make another compromise: to meet the newly compressed schedule, I won’t proof the entire mss. I will closely review the changes you have made (which appear to be significant in several areas of the book), and trust that the proofing and editing on your end was good enough.
You mentioned earlier that there would be one last opportunity to proof the book, right before it goes to press. If that was not just another promise to be broken, I would like to be included in that process.
To: firstname.lastname@example.org CC: email@example.com
Subject: Review Copies
Jerry said I should update you on the Review Copies. I just got back in the office from the press Check in Costa Mesa, and from picking up lunch in Long Beach on the way back, so I haven’t had a chance to stuff the envelopes or make the labels yet.
All the addresses are on the UPS site, so it won’t take long.
I’m telling you, this is it. I’ll be with you no matter what, but this is it. Think big. Make the effort, close the deal. Only you and I understand how big this move can be, but we have to make it that big. England’s already spread the word. We just need you to make the offer to close all the holes in the story.
Hoping You’re Thinking Big Austro-Hungarian Thoughts,
Subject: re: re:Diplomacy: Convinced?
Too risky. Slow and steady wins the race. Let’s take our foes apart piece by piece. With this turn’s adjustments, we’ll be in a very strong position next turn.
Subject: Long Beach
Lunch from Long Beach?
[Walker]: you there?
[jawalma]: sorta. phone.
[Walker]: Moveset on the way. Let’s do this.
[jawalma]: too much. can’t count on anyone. nobody’s reliable.
[Walker]: I’ll send the movesets. You’ll see. It’s brilliant. They’ll be supporting attacks on themselves, basically.
[jawalma]: patience. talk later.
[Walker]: We’ll go donw in history. Come on!
To: firstname.lastname@example.org CC: email@example.com
Subject: Review Copy Addresses
See the attached. 20-30 new outlets. NONE of them are in our UPS shipping database.
Jerry should have let you know about this.
BTW: How was the Press Check?
To: List Members Subject: re: re:[USAGE]:Fragments
Since nobody else has chimed in (*tap-tap* is this thing on?), thanks, Gerald!
To: List Members Subject: re:[USAGE]:Fragments
Treat “whereas” as a subordinating conjunction, just like “although,” and “while”, and all the rest of them. Use it at the beginning of a dependent clause in a complex sentence.
“Whereas cats are known for their indifference to mankind, dogs are known for their deep affiliation.”
I wouldn’t add a comma after ‘No doubt’.
-Gerald in LA
To: List Members Subject: [USAGE]:Fragments
I’ve always thought that “whereas” should be used in the middle of a sentence rather than at the beginning. Or is it perfectly acceptable to begin a sentence with ‘whereas’?
I have a second question: what do I do with “no doubt” at the beginning of sentences? I’m reading a manuscript in which the author begins six sentences like this (or similarly): “No doubt the most important thing for students to understand…” and so on. I think I should add a comma after ‘no doubt,’ but no doubt you all will tell me I’m confused!
Many, many thanks in advance,
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com CC: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: re:Book Idea?
RVing for Kids? Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll look at it when I get back. Not a priority until later this spring.
Let’s take care of today’s priorities before we think about tomorrow’s.
So far this week, you still owe me:
Costa Rica Copy
Kids: Chicago Review Copy Shipments
LA Author Candidate Fianlists
Confirmation on New York
Wednesday’s almost over.
Lizzy: Any of the above you think you can handle?
To: email@example.com Subject: Book Idea?
An interesting pitch just came in – Kids and RVing. Fits our catalog, growing market with potential, opportunities for follow-up with regional RV Travel with Kids guides a la our Bored Kids’ series.
Solid pitch. I think we should move on it and try to get it into the next catalog.
Shall I forward it?
[Louise Brooks]: Aren't you supposed to be Kicking off Birthday Weekend, jawalma?
[jawalma]: Yes. If I can wrap up this copy soon, I'll meet her at the rink in time for the third.
[Andy AC]: I think I remember the Flock of Boxes.
[jawalma]: me too.
[Andy AC]: Like those Russian dolls, right? But wooden boxes.
[fisheye]: what’t;s in the middle?
[Andy AC]: the littlest box.
[jawalma]: I was going to put a little silver locket in there.
[Louise Brooks]: So SWEET! At least she still gets a lovely little locket.
[jawalma]: *sigh* Maybe for Christmas.
[Louise Brooks]: I never get anything.
[Walker]: I’d get you something.
[Louise Brooks]: No you wouldn’t. You’d say you would. But then you wouldn’t. And I’d pretend it was ok.
[Walker]: But I would know better?
[Louise Brooks]: Yes, but I would have my doubts that you did.
[jawalma]: Well screw it. Gotta go.
[fisheye]: oh the rink